So, today is the last day of 2013 – and boy, am I glad of it. I always try to see the bright side of things rather than the negative side, and I've never labeled years as "good" or "bad" before, but there's no denying that 2013 for me has been a year of uncertainty, identity crisis and even tragedy.
Starting from the very beginning of this year, I had a creeping sense of maybe having lost my passion for the studies and the career I had been aiming for since graduation. In late spring, it really hit me: I totally don't want to study English anymore, and I want even less to become a teacher. Actually, I want to get out of Finland. Well, it took just a little too long for me to figure that out – by then, it was too late to apply to any universities. So I would have to stay one more year in Finland, not quite knowing how to make all that time worthwhile. I wasn't very excited about droning on with my English studies to begin with, and even less so when a most terrible thing happened on the 5th of August: Nuppu, our family dog, just 4 years 7 months old, was hit by a car and died minutes later. She was incredibly precious to me and it was the biggest shock of my life to lose her so unexpectedly.
But 2013 did also bring some very beautiful things with it, which makes up for some of the unsettling stuff above. The "career path identity crisis" actually has two sides to it. Yes, it gave me several sleepless nights and lots of panicking, but in the end it's been very uplifting to discover what I now really want to do with my life: I discovered I want to work in the world of theatre, as a writer and a director. And I want to do it in the English-speaking world. This resolution was only strengthened when I joined Tukkateatteri, an amateur theatre group. I hadn't been doing theatre since I graduated from high school, and now over the months of October to December when I met all those absolutely lovely people and got so much positive energy from just stepping inside the theatre, I decided once and for all that this was what I wanted to keep doing.
As for the loss of Nuppu... Well, of course the grief is still there. But so is a beautiful, new puppy, Mimi, who just turned six months old and who brings endless joy to everyone around her. When the worst shock of Nuppu's death was over, all of our family agreed that once a dog family, always a dog family – none of us could take it how quiet the house was without the sound of little paws. So little Mimi came into the house.
I'm not really a horoscope person, but I found out that 2014 will be the year of the Wood Horse in the Chinese zodiac. The Chinese new year begins in the 31st of January and it's supposed to be a year of long-lasting change for people who have the guts to jump for it. Since my plans for next year include relocating myself to some foreign country (I have my sight set on Ireland actually) to study theatre, I can't help but take this as a hopeful sign – especially as the Horse happens to be my Chinese horoscope sign! In addition to my Ireland-theatre-plans, I'm looking forward to doing some new stuff at the amateur theatre, and to finally committing myself to healthy eating habits and regular exercise. Are you expecting any changes in your life from the Wood Horse?
Well, whether or not you're looking forward to a year of life-changing,
Happy New Year to all my readers! :)